Been away for a while but now I'm back

Been gone for a little while...partly due to moving back to my parent's house and oddly not being able to pick up wireless inside of the house, but I could sitting on the bench right outside the front door. But I have fixed that by getting a new Netgear router - we had a version 6 and the new one is version 9, quite the upgrade. :)

I'm excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I am pretty certain we have enough cranberry sauce...4 cans should be good right? And there's going to be sweet potato casserole. Two of the best dishes around for the big day. Hopefully with all that and the turkey early in afternoon I'll be able to sleep early because I'll be one of the "lucky" individuals up early for Black Friday shopping. I should really photo-document the "joyous" occasion. I don't really plan on spending money but who knows maybe I'll find some good deals on something.

I feel like I have so much to post since I haven't posted in a while though I don't know where to begin. I'll have to think of something quickly otherwise I'll to finish cleaning the bathroom and my bedroom. Aunt Inc and clan will be here around 1pm and I think dinner begins at 3pm, although I have to pick up my Grandpa before noon.

Oh...last week's big news. I got my wisdom tooth out on Monday. It wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be, probably only because I had one tooth extracted. I think most people get them taken out all at the same time. So I didn't need the Vicodin my dentist prescribed. But I did keep my tooth! I'd be crazy to let go of that good sized piece of ivory. My dad joked about making it into a piece of jewelry since I've been wearing bone jewelry recently.

Well, speaking of my dad. He's starting to get on my case at the moment about not putting off cleaning the bathroom at midnight...so I guess I'll get started on finishing that and then to my room.

Worried about my Pom

I've been worried about my Pomegranate lately. I have been since he left for the Notre Dame game in mid-October. I had been texting him a few times but he wouldn't reply. I thought it might have had to do with what we had talked about before he left, but now I think not. He had returned "pokes" on Facebook so I assumed things were fine between us. I then thought it might have been because he's been talking with his ex-girlfriend again...as I had explicitly mentioned in one of my last posts; he did confirm this in a text reply over the weekend:

its ok. its just i have been talking to m----a again. i don't need to hear it you understand hun? - 11.5.09 9:05:46 PM

Like any good friend would, I told him straight up that I wasn't going to say anything bad about him talking to her. I want for him to be happy. If they get back together then that's what happens, and I will support him. Their previous relationship I don't think was the healthiest, and I'm only judging by what I was exposed to. Anyways, from his text the day after, I had thought he wanted advice about what to do about her:

i'm going to call you tonight. need advice - 11.6.09 9:04:29 AM

He didn't call...as usual, so I texted him asking if he still needed the advice. He said he would call later but went on to say this later that night:

i'm going to confide in you. i have been struggling w/ bipolar disorder recently. i have been shutting everyone out. - 11.6.09 11:54:17 PM

I tried to get him to open up a little about it, be he said that he didn't want to discuss it at the moment and that he would talk to me further about it at a later date. I was understanding with his wishes, told him to take care for the night and tomorrow and that we would talk when he was ready. And most importantly, I told him that I loved him.

luv u too. - 11.7.09 12:11:17 AM

We didn't talk for all of Saturday and most of Sunday. I was going to wait until he contacted me, but I broke down and texted him in the afternoon while "volunteering" at the Dreher Park Zoo in WPB with my aunt and one of her friends. Just a "hey, how are you doing" type of chat. He told me that he's been having pretty bad episodes (which I didn't know until now, he has mixed episodes with psychotic features). I don't like not being up where he is. I feel so helpless being a little over 300 miles away. I have to admit that my heart broke when he asked me if I thought he'd ever get better.

do you think i'll get better? - 11.8.09 1:57:12 PM

I do think he'll get better. I want him to get better and I want him to think that he will too. I asked if he thought he would get better. He didn't reply to that. I asked him a few more questions and just chatted. He eventually assured me that he would be okay and that it would get better. I really hope he believes that as much as I want too.

I went online afterwards yesterday, just looking around to see if maybe if there was anything I could do...which I'll ask him when(/if) we talk tonight. I found this one site which made me a little better after seeing that I had taken a right direction in our chat.
Helping a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder: Children, Teens, and Family

I wish there was something more I could do for him...